


Make Up

by monyaka



Series: Femslash February 2020 [8]
Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February 2020, Implied/Referenced Cheating, im sorry scott for doing you dirty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22618618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monyaka/pseuds/monyaka
Summary: Day 8 of 29 : Make UpRebecca and Paula have been fighting, but this time, Rebecca's heart isn't in it. After all, she's recently realized something, and she is awful at keeping secrets.
Relationships: Rebecca Bunch/Paula Proctor
Series: Femslash February 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619584
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Make Up

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on the bus on the way to college, so i didn't get to cross-reference with the cxg timeline. this definitely takes place after scott cheats on paula, and after she forgives him, gets the abortion, and goes to law school, but before rebecca quits and starts rebetzel's. i know this is quite the rarepair (for reasons i totally understand), but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!

Nothing hurts more than when you’re in a fight with your best friend, except for when your summer camp boyfriend is in a semi-serious-probably-should-be-serious relationship with this really smoking hot girl that you definitely cannot compete with and also he hates you. But this is pretty close.

Paula has been Rebecca’s rock ever since she moved to West Covina, with her underhanded tactics and her penchant for drama. But she’s never wanted to actually be in the drama—just watching it. And Rebecca has to wonder, as she does from time to time but admittedly not often, if Paula realizes that the sidekick role is still a role. 

Because the more Rebecca thinks about her story, the less she’s sure if Paula is really as inconsequential as they pretend she is. And not in an after-everything-I’ve-done-for-you way or a missing-mom-figure way, but, like... a real way. A soul-wrenching way.

In a Josh Chan kind of way.

In an oh-my-God-I-think-I-like-you way.

Like life didn’t really exist before she was in it. Like Rebecca wondering what would have happened if Paula had broken up with Scott. Like Rebecca spending more and more time with her sons just hoping they’ll see her as a kind of mother—a mother-in-law. Like Rebecca asking her if she wanted to be the protagonist of a whirlwind romance. 

But Paula has her own friends now. She has Sunil. God, Rebecca hates Sunil. Stupid musical-theatre-loving fake-ass little poopoohead. Taking Paula away from Rebecca. Making her smile in a way Rebecca can’t anymore.

_ I can’t do this anymore. _ And they’d signed a contract—no Rebecca shenanigans. How could she ask her best friend to put up with her, especially when she’s not even sure if they’re best friends anymore?

She sees Paula at work all the time. Law school, working mom, everything she’s accomplished and everything Rebecca admires her for. And there’s a sadness that rips at her when she sees her best friend. It rips her apart.

“Well,  _ you’ve _ been avoiding me,” notes Paula as she sidles up next to her, and Rebecca swallows past the lump forming in her throat, stirs her coffee, nods slowly.

“Yyyes, I have.”

She doesn’t even need to look at Paula to know she’s softening. She knows the way Paula holds her mug, the intensity of her ice-cold eyes, even the notes of concern that’s hidden behind the mask of a woman who was raised to be soft and could never realize that dream. Paula is vicious. And she is crazy. And she’s just like Rebecca, and she’s scared of that.

“Well, what is it, cookie?”

_ I like you. I want to pool our salaries together and lock you away where you can’t see Scott or Sunil ever again. I wanna be crazy together. _

She shakes her head. 

“You can tell me.”

Again, she shakes her head.

“I thought we said no more secrets.”

“This is an important secret,” blurts Rebecca, and when she looks up, her eyes are bright and her nose is turning red. “It’s—I wouldn’t be keeping it if... if it wasn’t important.” She lifts her hand, a rogue thought seizing her and her tongue running with it. “The contract! It violates the contract, so... yup.” It ends on a popping sound, the smack of her lips.

“Oh.”

“But to hell with the contract, right? There shouldn’t be any secrets between us—like, none. At all.” Stop it, Rebecca, you sound crazy. You sound crazy. You’re a crazy fucking bitch. Shut up. Shut up.

She can’t shut up. “Like you’re just  _ such _ an important friend to me, why would I keep secrets? It’s not like—it’s not like you need to do anything. You can even—even leave forever if you want.”

“Hey, I’m not going to leave fore—”

“—But you will!” Her voice is high and petulant and loud. The tears are coming and nothing can stop them. “You will, because I’m the worst, I’m so awful, Paula, I can’t tell you, because if you knew I  _ liked you, _ you’d be so weirded out. You have a whole—a whole thing. Your life is great and I’m not even your best friend anymore and—and—I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know who I am—”

When she remembers to look at Paula, the expression on her face is nothing short of shell-shocked. And Paula reaches a trembling hand up, which is enough to reduce Rebecca to a silent, fearful child. She tucks some hair behind Rebecca’s ear.

“Rebecca...” and her voice sounds so pained.

She wants to say,  _ You don’t have to do anything. _ But words aren’t working. 

“I don’t think...” She’s cautious, trying to choose the right words. “I mean, what about Josh... or Nathaniel, or... or  _ you! _ I mean...” Her voice goes quiet. “I’m just...”

“Don’t say it.” Rebecca swallows. “I know... you don’t like me like that, and you love Scott, and  _ oh God, why did I say anything...?” _

“I don’t... really... love Scott anymore, actually.”

Rebecca stops. Stares.

“I just... money is so tight, and I can’t afford to get a divorce and... I mean, the boys, and law school, and he’s been supportive, I just... it’s not  _ there _ anymore.”

This isn’t a no. So is it...?

Paula smiles wearily. “I’ll talk to him. I missed you too, cookie.”

Rebecca squeals loud enough to alert the whole office, and she squeezes Paula into a tight hug. And when Paula melts into the touch, holds her with a close but still hesitant grip, Rebecca can feel her feelings being transmitted like, like if hugs are actually the secret to knowing what a person has in their heart, and Paula has love, or at least like, and that’s enough, whoa, that’s so way more than what Rebecca had ever thought she could have.

She’s the happiest crazy bitch alive.


End file.
